poetry corner

wild flower

you blossom in the foundation of my mind
the way
a wild flower grows from cracks in the cement
of a sidewalk that was unattended to
and walked on for many years

the light

the shame clouds my mind like a relentless fog
my self loathing is palpable in my movements
in my voice
when replying to the casually offered greeting
“how are you?”
“i’ve been better.” i say
i leave out that im not sure ive ever felt worse.

i’m trapped in my mind
desperately seeking an escape.
the sense of belonging and peace
i felt such a short time ago
for such a short time.
the first light in the pitch black tunnel of my life.
dimmed by my own actions.
now i am yet again in that dark tunnel.
it was much easier to navigate
before i knew light.

silent song

my love for you lives in the air i breathe
in the electric signals in my mind
every blink of my eye

my love for you lives in the hours i sleep
in the miles i drive
the hours i work

my love for you lives in every flower i smell
in every dog that i pet
every tree i admire

my love for you goes beyond words i can write
for it’s a silent song
i pray you’ll always hear

song and dance

my key was always off
always too sharp
always too flat
i always knew deep down
i cannot sing

yet, I did
i still tried
i sang open mics, talent shows
“Great job.” they told me
“Thank you so much.” i reply
i feel their compliments nuture me
but i always knew
i cannot sing

life went on
opportunities to sing became
less and less
i stopped trying to seek it
the “Great job.”’s
that kept me safe for so long

safety, however, is a desirable thing
i would sing a short tune, here and there
just for a taste
a taste of the safety
that only hearing them say it again
can provide

and they did
they always say
“Great job.”
“Thank you.” I always reply.
knowing well
i cannot sing

the desire for the safety
waxed and waned
the hunger is gone
but returns as quickly as it left
theres always an audience
and i know where to find them

i do my song and dance
and i wait
looking toward my audience
the typical crowd i perform to
and wait
to hear them say it

they take me by surprise
they smile and ask
with a kindness i have never known
“Sing me another?”

he request strikes me
another?
i’m not usually one to do an encore
yet, i oblige

this time
deviating from the song and dance
i find myself improvising
doing scales and hitting notes
i never even attempted
why would i? i always knew
i cannot sing

i finish my performance
out of breath and with a smile
i look toward my audience
whose attentive eyes gleam with joy
“Wow” they say.
“Great job.”

i furrow my brows
and tilt my head
“That’s my queue…” i think to myself
its time for life to go on
as it always does

“Thank you.” i say
feeling the joy in my smile
and for the very first time in my life
i finally believe
i can sing